A Letter

A Frustrated Character

Dear Author,
First of all, I'll have you know that "dear" is a mere formality. Nothing more.
You've tried to write me under quite a few different names in many different situations. You know, the independent, capable gal with a sarcastic sense of humor and her own view of reality that is generally dissatisfied with the world and its idiosyncrasies. And, as always, there's the proverbial chink in the armor through which your snarky heroine can be exploited and subsequently rescued. Sound familiar? Yeah, that would be because you keep writing the same dang thing over and over. And the worst of it is, you don't finish any of it!
I have a few suggestions to remedy this. Finish something. Anything. Don't worry about length or quality. Just. Finish. I seriously think you should consider it. And let's face it, you have plenty of scenarios in need of finishing. Hope, I Speak Sarcasm as a Second Language, your Robin Hood story, and your Beauty and the Beast story, just to name a few. Pick one of them and round it out a little and bring it to a mildly satisfying close. I think you'll be better for it.
Also, I feel the need to address your originality, or lack thereof. Now, I realize that I am an incredibly compelling character and that you revel in the freedom to spout off through me, (something which you and I both know you would never actually do,) but you have got to quit writing me as the heroine of every little idea you come up with! Variety is the spice of life, remember? Right now, your variety is a little lacking. Once again, I think the solution to this is to just finish. Once you have a beginning, middle, and end with me as the main focus, you will gain a sense of closure and be able to move on to other things. In fact, if you want to, just skip the middle and go straight to the end.
I would like to include the fact that I firmly believe you have the talents necessary to write something that will knock this world off its feet. But you're in a bit of a rut and I think you need a nudge in the right direction. And who better than me? I do have a singular world view, you know.
Now go write! I'm tired of waiting around for you to finally give me the ending I deserve!

Not so patiently,
-insert one of the many names you have bestowed on me-